Forgiveness and Trust

There is a key distinction between forgiveness and trust. It is that to forgive means to absorb the hurt and refuse to retaliate, thus breaking the destructive cycle. Trust is different in so far as it requires both parties. One can be the soul forgiver in a conflict, yet one cannot wholeheartedly trust another who has no regrets and no change of heart. There are remarkable stories of families forgiving drunk drivers and murderers who have catastrophically affected their home, yet one would not expect them to trust the offender, especially if the offender elicited a lack of remorse.

To trust someone after they have let you down is an act of courage. It is to have faith that they have changed their ways and will not do something like that again. To trust someone without seeing that change is naivety, and it is simply an act of stupidity to put your faith in an unchanged person who feels no regret.

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